Sabbatical, Part 13 [closure]


Chris left the day before I did. I spent my final time on the West Coast with two lovely people, Sarah and Sebastian. They met in Peru, where Sebas was born. He has been in the States for a year now, and they’ve been married almost that long. I loved seeing his excitement about things I take for granted. For instance, the library lets you borrow books for free! And sandwiches. The man loves sandwiches.


We had a lot of fun together and also spoke honestly. I appreciated hearing their story of falling in love and the way they’ve come since then. I’m grateful for how they shared with me and for how they listened to me.

Being able to visit with them and to just spend time in the presence of such deep love was the perfect way to end my trip. I even had a few hours alone in their home my last morning before my flight. It brought me closure and peace. Here is my journal entry:

1/18

I was thinking last night that my question in college was “Who am I?” Now I think it’s “Where am I?”

It’s a good question. I am orientating myself as I prepare for my next step, but I’m not afraid to do some exploring. Some of my journey will be beautiful with a clear view. Some of it will be walled in, in thick white fog that makes me slow down. Some of it will be alone. Some of it will be with dear friends. All of it is a treasure.

The point of this trip was the trip. Every day on my drive that I started thinking too much about where I needed to get to and by what time, I’d have to remind myself: The journey is the point. I’m not behind schedule. I will not stress out or overdo it just because I think the words “I’m supposed to … ”

I learned that I appreciate structure, but thrive when there’s flexibility.

I remembered that I have a strong sense of direction. I’m good at reading maps, but I spent most of my drive without one. I knew the way I needed to head, and there were plenty of signs along the way. This is true in life. I usually know the way I should be going, if I could just listen to my gut.

So, “Where am I?” can help me get my bearings. It can help me position myself for the direction I will head next — as I’m guided by my gut. “Where am I?” is free of judgment. It is not “Where am I supposed to be?” Nor is it “When am I supposed to get there?” Rather, its answer is an observation, a realization, even an acknowledgment.

Oh. Here. I am here.


3 responses to “Sabbatical, Part 13 [closure]”

  1. Mandy! What a joy to be a part of your last day on your Sabbatical trip! We loved getting some time with you! You have shared your thoughts and heart so beautifully on this blog! Thanks for being you!
    love-Sarah & Sebastian