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| Some days work looks like this. |
In casual conversation with friends, this question is asked a lot: “Are you working tomorrow?”
It bristles me every time.
I know that they are asking if I’m working the one job that I have set hours for. I know, in that logical, believe-the-best-about-people part of my brain, that they are surely not implying that I don’t work.
But it still feels like the implication is that I don’t work hard or often enough. As a freelancer, the way in which I work seems to be invalid to many people. So I’m often on the defensive, too eager to validate myself and the work I’m doing. I want to retort, “You know, six out of seven days, the answer will be ‘YES.’ So please think before you ask me that again.” Or I want to ask if they are working tomorrow, because I know it’s possible to go to the office and not do a lick of work.
I even once had a friend joke about this being early retirement. Hyuk, hyuk. I did not have a sense of humor about it.
I have lightened up a bit as I’ve gotten a little more secure in my work. Now I can tease and say, “Naw, I’m gonna hit the beach.”
Or … I rub it in. I say, “We’ll see. I really love my flexible schedule. I think I’ll at least sleep in.”
Sometimes. Sometimes I can be genuine. I can express humble gratitude for having a flexible schedule that allows me to do things I wouldn’t if I had a 9-to-5.
And the other thing is, I am pretty generous with my flexibility. I run errands for people. I visit people (e.g. in the hospital or home with a new baby) during the day because other friends can’t, and that can be a long, lonely stretch. I take people’s kids places. I mean, none of this is all the time, but I do try to share the benefit of an open schedule. And it feels good, a fit for me who feels friendship is part of her calling.
2 responses to “This is not early retirement.”
I have a question. Which friends are you the most annoyed with?
I'm not really annoyed by my friends, because I know they aren't really trying to say that I don't work. I just get defensive about feeling like I have to prove that I do, in fact, work. I'm sorry if that is unclear. I have fabulous friends. And sometimes we have misunderstandings. But I love them dearly.