I know this rule. But I made a mistake.

I ran into a girl I’d known a few years back. We’d gone to an all-girls small group together. In the years since I’d left, several of the girls had gotten married, some had had babies. I couldn’t really keep track, but I was pretty certain I’d seen this girl’s Facebook profile once feature her in a bridal gown and once her holding a newborn.

I asked.

“Are you one of the one who had a baby? I’m sorry, I’ve had a hard time keeping up.”

“Uh. No. I’m just fat.”

Both of us blush. She looks just miserable, and I feel terrible.

“No, no, no. I didn’t mean that at all. I just thought I’d seen your profile picture of you with a baby.”

Awkward small talk until we can part ways.

Fail.

Just never ask, ok?